15:00... Say What???

If you have been reading this blog for any length of time, you have heard about miCoach by Adidas.  It was probably one of the first fitness apps that I downloaded on to my phone.  It was mostly love at first use (once I figured out how to adjust the speeds).  I don't always use it, but I constantly find myself going back to it for my walking / jogging / running workouts.  If you are interested in interval training at all, I cannot recommend it enough!
Today marks 2 weeks back in the gym and mostly I have met or exceeded my expectations from 2 weeks ago.  My trainer has already given me a really good strength workout that works my body out well and I have been doing pretty good with my walking as well, following miCoach's Lose Weight Level 2 program.  
Since I am doing my cardio on a treadmill, I have been using the heart rate version to track my workouts instead of by pace.  My heart is definitely not the strongest muscle in my body.  During workouts, I regularly hit 150, 160, even 170.  Last year, I ran my entire race between 175 & 193.  Not really a great heart rate to have as anyone in the medical field will tell you and to maintain that heart rate for the 75 minutes it took me to run the race?  I'm lucky I didn't end up in an ambulance.
miCoach uses blue, green, yellow and red zones for training.  The program I am using only uses blue and green.  Blue is 127 bpm and green is 147 bpm for their lower limits.  As my workouts have progressed over the last 2 weeks, I have seen my pace increase as I try to maintain 127 bpm.  I started at 1.5 mph, 1.7 mph, 1.9 mph, then a jump to 2.3 mph and today I hit 3.0 mph to maintain 127 bpm.  When I had to jump to the green zone, 147 bpm.....  I kept increasing my speed until I hit 4.0 mph, 15:00 mins/mile!!!!  Like OMG!!!  And my foot was not really protesting...  sore, but ok.  If anything, my other foot was protesting more than my injured foot was.
I may not be ready for a race tomorrow, but I got this!!!!!

Life Struggles

I had a great plan in January to get my life back on track.  I was gonna do it.  Making changes here and there in positive directions, trying to move all of me towards my goals.  Sometimes, that really is easier said than done....
I fell and severely injured my foot.  Ended up wearing a boot / brace for close to 2 months.
Had a family illness that demanded my time and energy.
My car decided that it needed a total makeover to pass inspection.
I completely destroyed the budding relationship that I was in.
And of course, Gypsy season was starting up.
Sometimes, the universe just doesn't play very fair.  I came entirely too close to cracking under all this pressure.  Through the grace of God and some very amazing friends that would not let go of my hand no matter how hard I tugged, I struggled through.
In the middle of May I received a phone call asking me to go back to the job where my fitness journey began.  I looked at the big picture, comparing my current job with the old job and all the positives and negatives involved with each.  It did not take me long to figure out that I would be very interested in going back to the old job and get a second chance with my fitness journey.
I am back in the gym with an energy that I haven't felt in ages (also a really weird debilitating soreness that follows me home from the gym...  lol).  My recovery from my foot injury will be a very long road until I am anywhere near the 12:30 pace of my race last year.
I am getting my dietary choices back on track slowly.
I know I have a long road ahead of me, but you know what.  As long as I don't quit, then I can't fail!!! 

Gave up Facebook for Lent (kinda......)

This post is not really about my weight loss journey...  like, at all...  but it is part of the Lost Cause journey and I have been composing this over the last several days and can't get it out of my head, which is why I felt the need to bite the bullet and just write it.  I am sure I will upset some people with this post, and honestly, I don't care.  A negative reaction is more than the passive reaction I am currently receiving.
Sometime in January I got so upset with one of my Facebook friends that I decided to take a break from Facebook for a bit...  A couple of days or so...  But as the couple of days progressed I started realizing that maybe it was more than this friend causing the break from Facebook.  I would spend all day long checking my account looking for the newest and latest with everyone and posting about the newest and latest in my life.  Going through my feed and pushing the like button a million times....
The like button....  Such an easy button to push...  So and so is pregnant... 'like'  Hey, he just went for a walk...  'like'  Just bought a new car... 'like'
Like, like, like...
I just got tired of trying to come up with something that would incite a conversation!  Like, words people...  Heard of them?
So as the days slipped by from my temporary break and I started realizing how much of my time was being taken up by the 'like' fest...  I started thinking about this break being a little bit longer..  Within a week or so, I made the decision that I was not getting back on to Facebook until after Lent.  I didn't really realize that Easter was not until late April and that I was going to be off of Facebook for over 3 months...  By the time I figured out that the Lenten season was no where near where I was...  I was more than happy to stay off...
I went to an amazing conference for Airbrush Gypsy where I took a ton of balloon and magician classes.  I started practicing henna a lot more.  I have practiced my magic act.  I have played with balloon sculpting and decor.  I have practiced face paint.  (Wow, this break from Facebook has been a serious boon for my value to Airbrush Gypsy!!!)
Unfortunately, I have not spent my new free time exercising and continuing my health journey as shortly after I made this decision, I fell and seriously injured my foot.  I am facing a very long road to recovery, but that is another story.
My personal and family life have fallen apart in the last couple of months and not being on Facebook has allowed me more time to deal with those issues.  You might be thinking that I could have used some support from Facebook during my difficult times.  Actually, the amount of support I have ever received from Facebook has been lacking at best.  I don't know if it is the quality of people that I have as friends, or what...  But generally speaking, when I post looking for whatever variety of support, I know before hand who (generally a single response, or maybe 2 responses) is going to respond and very, very rarely am I wrong.
Speaking of support during difficult times, reminds me of the other social network that I belong to, although my presence has been as lacking from there as it has been from Facebook.  The other network being something that my regular readers will be very familiar with...  Lose It.  For those who are not "Losers", there is no like button on Lose It.  If you want to tell someone that they did a great job working out....  You say exactly that.  There is no passive socialization going on!!!  And when I ask for support on Lose It, it comes in abundance.  I am continually amazed that these strangers that I have never met are more interested in my life than people who I see or talk to or have met.
Easter was Sunday (obviously...) so I wished everyone a Happy Easter, my first post in over 3 months...  Received several likes.  Scrolled through my news feed and saw so many Happy Easter messages, clicked that like button too.  So easy to fall back into old habits...  I quickly caught myself and since Monday, I try not to just click the like button but to post a comment.  Trying to start a conversation, fairly unsuccessfully.  
I have posted several times in the last couple of days and received several likes...  Not so many comments....  I realize that it has only been a couple of days...  But seriously people...  The only people that commented on my posts are the same people that were in contact with me during my hiatus...  Because, *gasp* there are messengers and emails and phones and in person visits.....  A real social life?  Like, really!?!?!?!?!
So what have I learned over the last several months?  The probably Facebook is going to remain a lost portion of my life.  It certainly is not adding anything to my life.  It certainly is not taking anything away, except time and that is so precious and needed elsewhere...  
Thanks for reading my (not so passive) aggressive rant about Facebook...  Certainly not expecting the world to stop using Facebook, but give a thought to checking your newsfeed just one less time today...  See if you can find the time to take a walk, pick up the phone and call an old friend, or start learning magic...  [ok, not really on the magic...  Leave that one to me!  :-) ]

"What Will You Gain When You Lose" - Special K Challenge

If you have been here for any length of time, you know that I don't do diets, but that I am totally and entirely a lifestyle change girl.
Years ago, I actually tried the Special K challenge.  For a cereal addict, a cereal challenge sounds fabulous!!!  But when was the last time you checked the serving size on a box of cereal?  Like 3/4 of a cup and 1/2 a cup of milk?  This girl just likes cereal a lil bit more than that.  And the meal replacement bars that they have?  To seriously live off of just 3/4 c of cereal and 1 meal replacement bar, plus 1 regular meal a day, I don't know how any one can do that, but I can certainly understand how you can lose a pant size in 2 weeks...  
But that is not why I am writing about the Special K challenge.  I love the new 'What will you gain when you lose' aspect of the Special K challenge and it completely fits into my Lost Causes lifestyle.
So what do I want to gain?  
I want to gain confidence.  To know that I am my own person, to know that I can do this, to know that I am strong enough to survive, to know that I do look good!
What do I want to lose?
My insecurity...  To constantly question if I am making the right choice, to wonder if I can achieve my goals.
What do you want to gain?
What do you want to lose?

Day 4

Slept through yesterday morning's workout...  Spent all day at the hospital with my grandfather, but made it home before dark for once. Decided that since I skipped 2 previous workouts....  Last night I plugged it in for 45 minutes on My Fitness Coach. The recommended target area was core. If you have been following me for any length of time, you know I hate core, don't have core, and am I really considering a 45 minute core workout? Yes, yes I was. Yes, yes I did....  Fyi expect crunches, crunches, crunches, got a change of pace crunches, and don't forget crunches...  And my crunches barely get my shoulders off the ground...  Someday....  Oh well, that is another post. I did my crunches and the rest of the 45 min workout.
Although I considered sleeping through this mornings workout, I got up and did it....  And looking forward to doing it again tonight....
Just one step at a time, one workout at a time, one sore muscle group at a time.

Day 2 and Already Quitting

Beep beep beep....  Shut up!
Buzz buzz buzz....  Ugh!
"Voodoo" by Godsmack starts playing...  No!
Blinding lights turn on...  I'm not getting out of bed! ! !
I'm not really a morning person....  I'm really not a 5 am person...  After a night of my cats keeping me awake and not being able to get comfortable and my head hurts and my biceps are screaming and I don't really need to get up do I? ? ?
You can see yesterdays post already wearing off....
I don't know what got me out of bed, but I did albeit late...  Up to the house and workout....  Felt great! Even out ran the trainer on EA Active 2.
Tonight is a WiiFitRoutine.com workout....  And my snooze fest this morning meant no body weight challenge so doubling up on that tonight...
If I can't keep my head in the game, expect to see more of me....  Obviously I need the accountability.....

A New Year

I started writing this with the intention of posting it on New Years day...  Unfortunately, my Wii Balance Board decided that it did not want to cooperate with me.  I decided not to change the theme of this post because although it is January 5, I know some people have already forgotten their resolutions from last week.  Or already messed up and are saying, 'Oh well, there is always next year, or tomorrow, or next week, or...'  We are a society that likes to put off until tomorrow stuff that we should have done yesterday.  I am a member of this same society.  If I wasn't then the life I am living today would be much different, but I am, and here, and so are you, so let us continue with this belated blog about the new year.

I am not a New Years Resolution person.  I don't think that there is any difference between tomorrow, yesterday, or today, except how you see it, how you react to it.  The fact that I weighed in today for the first time in 4 months, is purely a coincidence.
It has much more to do with the fact that for the first time in years I have hope for the future, and my potential role in it will be made much easier if I can lose more of this fat that just keeps hanging around.
Up until recently, this journey has been mostly easy.  I started walking, bought a Wii, lost 30 lbs. Joined a gym, lost another 4% body fat. I might not have been right on target, but I was doing pretty fabulous.
Then I decided to get a "real" job...  I now leave my house at 6:30 in the morning and get home at 6:15 in the evening. While I don't work "in the hood", my office is close enough that it was recommended to me to not walk at my lunch hour. Actually, don't even get out of your car! By the time I get home and find something to eat, or if I am really ambitious, make something actually healthy, I am exhausted and ready for bed. Where am I supposed to fit fitness?
I know...  Make the time! It is all so much easier said than done...
I've tried getting up at 5:00 to go to the gym...  And I can do it, if I am REALLY committed, but then I feel rushed...  Literally 20 - 30 mins to work out after being used to spending hours at the gym...  It just doesn't make me feel good like it should...  Not enough endorphins released, or something...  I'd much rather just throw on my sneakers and head out the door for a long exhausting run that do a bunch of running around...  But it is dark, and the road I live on is...  well not the safest road to be running on after dark.  Not talking about the danger of walking at work dangers, but more like falling into a hole, severely injuring myself, or some other such nonsense and since I am still fighting to recover from my overly ambitious and cocky attitude from those damn tires 8 months ago...  Further injury just does not sound like my idea of a good time...

But I did finally figure out a way to wake up, put on my sneakers, and burn some calories.  Just yesterday, I finished setting up my Wii in the main house living room.  It is after all where it was set up before I moved into the city.  I did try to workout in my apartment on the Wii, I really did, but even after rearranging my bedroom to get more workout room, the best I could manage was about 4' x 6'.  Sure I can do push ups, sit ups, etc, but Zumba?  Let me tell you it ain't pretty....  So we are set up in the house...  I will have to keep it quiet as to not wake everyone up, but I lost the first 15 lbs just like this!  I know it works!  I know I can do it.  And this time around I have a lot more than just Wii Fit to get me going.  I am going to have variety in my workout!!!  EA Active, My Fitness Coach, Jillian Michaels, Zumba, Wii Fit Plus, and if I just want to have some fun then there is even Wii Sports & Wii Sports Resort.

I have been wishing for some time that my gym did classes, but I guess that is part of the price of a more expensive and bigger gym.  I still love my small and intimate gym, just wish I could get there more often.  

In the last 2 days, as I have been setting up the Wii, I have decided that I do have classes and no I cannot miss them..  Every morning I will get up for class, every night after getting home I will do class before bed.  I can do this.  I will do this.

My friends from Lose It are rallying around me once more, and in actuality, they never left.  They were there, waiting for me to come back.  Waiting to enfold me back into the love and hope and encouragement to keep moving forward.  And my Loser friends that have moved into my 'real' life???  Are more than any person should have a right to expect.  It is absolutely amazing the love that I have received as I have moved closer to this day over the last several weeks.

So today is my re-commitment to a healthier me, because after all that is what I want to be right?  Not a Barbie doll, but to be beautiful to my groom on my wedding day, to be able to present him with a beautiful and even more healthy baby?  I know that this all can't happen overnight, but someday, I want to have it all, so today, this is what I can do, this is what I will do, this is what I must do!!!!

Weighed in this morning....  Let's just leave it at this is the highest weight ever entered into Lose It....  But it is not my highest weight ever so I can come back from it!

I will start logging my meals better

I will start exercising for 1 hour a day

I will start posting more often than once in the last six months

I will keep moving forward