Full Body Cardio Strength Training

The race is over and I have finally recovered from my cold of February & March, so time to get serious in the gym again.  I mean, this girl, she wants some muscle!!!
So I made an appointment on Monday to rework my training.  My trainer told me that leading up to the race I was working on building endurance, but if I am going forward with training, then I need to shift my focus to power.  Also, she wasn't happy with my heart rate during the race, so she wants to try to force it to start behaving.
I was expecting to add weights back to the routine I already had, maybe add a few new exercises...  Yeah...  I should have known better!

1. Deadlift into a burpee finished with Arnold curl / press
2. Squats with kettlebell shoulder raises
3. Rope whip cracks
4. Rope squat jumps
5. Mountain climber crossovers
6. Hip sled
7. TRX abductions

On Monday, I did 1 set of each of these exercises.  Yesterday, I did 3 sets...  .
My heart spent more time out of zone than it ever has before.  I drank more water during my workout than I ever have before.  I burned more calories than I ever have before.
And OMG!  After my 3rd set of rope squat jumps, I actually collapsed on the floor because it was easier than attempting to get back up!

Some of the exercises really challenge me to push through limits like the push up in a burpee, which I cannot do.  Some are just funny to watch like the rope squat jumps as I have difficulties finding my center balance and almost end up on my rump.  Some make me feel powerful like the hip sled, feeling 260 lbs destroy my body.  Some make me feel weak like the TRX abductions where I can barely complete the set.
At the end of the day, I am exhausted, I am beat, I am dead.  The next day I can't move because my entire body hurts.  But next week, next month, next year...  I will be stronger than I am today!!!

Post Race Exhaustion and a Good Deal of Laughing

The Monument Ave 10k has 40,000 participants.  If only half of those people bring just one person, plus all of the race officials, volunteers, bands, vendors...  You are starting to get the picture?  A lot of people in a very small space?
I have a friend who lives about 1/2 a mile from the finish line in the opposite direction of the race.  There just happens to be a parking garage and 2 lots within half a block of her apartment building.  So I thought it was a great place to park, and it was.  As Mom and I are walking towards the starting line, we walk past a garage that is almost empty.  I tell Mom that we should have parked there.  She said something along the lines of yeah.  I said, 'Mom, it is the police station.'  She said, 'Oh!'  This was about halfway to the start line.  On the way from the finish line back to my car, we are exhausted and barely moving, more like crawling...  I tell Mom that we are coming up on the police station.  She says, 'Hey, that was really rude of someone to put extra blocks in our path!'  I don't know how long it took us to walk to the car, but it certainly was a lot longer than it took to walk to the race!
We needed to stop at a store and pick up bananas & batteries before going home.  It was also very warm, so I asked Mom if she would like to stop for ice cream.  She thought it was a fabulous idea, so I offered, 'Sweet Frog or Brusters?'  She said, 'I don't care.'  I responded with, 'Sweet Frog is right across the street from Wal-mart, but Brusters is all the way down by Charlie's.'  She thought Wal-Mart sounded fabulous.  So I pull into the Wal-Mart parking lot.  My mother always parks at the garden center.  Now if you have ever been in a Wal-Mart, you know the garden center  and the bananas are nowhere near each other.  As we are limping from my car to the door, Mom asks, 'Whose brilliant idea was this?'  I point at her.  She said, 'No it wasn't.  I would have gone to Food Lion.  Not as far to walk!'  I said we still could.  Next thing I know she is no longer next to me.  I turn around to see her disappear on the other side of my car.  As we are getting ready to leave Wal-Mart, we are discussing ice cream and Food Lion options, because we still need to do both, but neither of us want to walk.  Going to Sweet Frog will involve attempting to find a parking spot in one of the busiest places in Richmond in the middle of a Saturday afternoon.  We would end up walking halfway across a parking lot again!  I suddenly remember there is a Food Lion around the corner from Charlie's and could be on the way to Brusters.  We start driving!!  As we hobble into Food Lion, get the bananas and go to check out.  The cashiers ask us if we did the 10k.  We were like, 'is it that obvious?'  They said, 'You are just moving a lil slow.'  Now for Southerners to think Northerners, let alone New Yorkers, to be moving a lil slow, you have probably figured out exactly how slow we are moving!
Note to self:  the next time we do a 10k, shopping afterwards is not happening!!!  Although, we certainly have enjoyed laughing about it since!!!

The Race is Over... Or is it???

Saturday morning woke chilly, bright, and sunny, but I was only the first of those... As the race got closer last week, my nervousness started making me physically sick. A nervous wreck? Yeah, that was me!
After going into the bathroom for the 3rd time in the last hour, I felt myself start crying, just completely overwhelmed at the monumental (pun not intended) task ahead of me.
I posted on Facebook, 'So nervous I am making myself physically sick... Why am I doing this again? ? ? ?'
Literally 3 minutes later, an angel from Texas commented 'Because you can. You got this, Jessica.'
Between this heaven-sent post and the fact that my nervous breakdown woke up my mom (Moms really are great for helping you recover from nervous breakdowns!!!), I finally got out the door and driving to the race!

Made it to my secret parking garage, although driving into the garage must have broke the invisible shield, because about 10 cars followed us in.  At least we found parking easily!!!

As we are walking down the street towards the start line, my mom says 'Do you think they would care if I walk the race?'

So after another trip to the bathroom, I am standing in the corral waiting for my wave to be released.  Mom snaps a picture on her phone (and starts walking on the sidewalk next to the course, unbeknownst to me).  After she takes off, I realize I have been sick all morning and although I made a smoothie for breakfast, I only had 2 sips because it was making me sicker, no water, no Gatorade, nothing in my system whatsoever!  God, please watch over me, cuz this is going to be a long race!!!

I take off at an easy jog, passing people around me, but not going as fast as others.  Felt pretty good.  Grateful that I had finally replaced the battery in my HRM so I could make sure to not have a heart attack while running.  

Ran the first mile in 13:20...  Like, what?!?!?!  Easy jog?  Phone?  You did say 13:20, right? But I feel good, not tired...  Umm...  ok...

At this point in time, my phone must have decided to take exception to my questioning of its' tracking abilities and froze...  For the rest of the race!!!  So I have no split times...  I am very sad about this!

Anyways, back to the race and me jogging at 13 mins!!!  I am not conditioned to run 13:anything for any length of time, so I did end up walking, but every time I had to walk I kept it at a speed walk.  My goal was 1:30 and even though my first mile was fabulous, I knew there was no way I could maintain that pace.  I kept pushing myself, the next step, the next mile.

I was keeping a close eye on my heart.  The entire time my heart was between 175 & 190.  Nothing I could do would drop it!!!  I just kept an eye on my physical being as a whole to make sure I wasn't doing damage and every time I hit 190 I started walking and wouldn't start jogging again until back under 180.

Starting at mile 2, I was grabbing a cup of water and then a cup of Powerade to keep myself going.  Just kept pushing.  Didn't care how tired I was, all that mattered was finishing the race as fast as I could!

Sometime after halfway, I checked my overall time on my HRM watch.  41 minutes and change.  Figured that was on target, and I had shaved 8 minutes off of the time Mom and I completed 2 weeks ago at the Henrico 5k.

At this point in time, I am jogging / walking straight into the sun.  I am exhausted.  The water stops aren't doing much to keep me going, especially since I am now aspirating the Powerade as I try to finish it.  The bands playing, just aren't keeping me motivated.  My heart rate is too high and I can't get it down, I just keep walking, too tired to even set a goal to start jogging again.  Just keep moving is my mantra.

Mile 5 - OMG!  Almost done, come on, I can do this!!!  What time do I have?  1:05???  And I have 1 mile to go?  Holy cow!  Come on, I may be tired, but my goal is in sight!!!  Still exhausted, still just speed walking, not a lot of jogging at all, but as I continue and start recognizing signs of getting closer and closer to the end, I find myself at this weird speed between a walk and jog, but, hey, my body is doing it, not me, so let's go.  Keep an eye on the heart and how heavy I am breathing.  Slow down, speed walk again, around the last monument, and I am doing this weird faster pace again, but I know mile 6 has to be close and I want to finish strong.  I know there is more distance than what I have in the tank left, but I want to jog from mile 6 to the end.  I know I can do it!

Mile 6 and I start jogging, everyone around me is picking up speed.  A mother off to my left is telling her daughter 'Do you see those flashing lights?  That is as far as we have to go.  Come on, you can do it!'  Thanks to her giving me a finish line, I could do it too!  I started keep pace with this man wearing a 'Run with the Big Dog' shirt and we were going, faster and faster.  As we entered the finish corral, I let it all loose and I just flew past people, left and right!  

As I crossed the finish line, I stopped my HRM 1:18!!!  I can't believe it!!!  I hit my goal and took 12 minutes off of it!  So proud of myself!!!

But I am now in a crowd of finishers, trying to get out of the street and into the park to find my mom.  I know where we are supposed to meet, but I can't find it.  So I send her a message that says 'I don't know where I am supposed to meet you', thinking that she has been chilling for the last hour plus, so she can tell me where to find her.  She responds with 'I'm not even at 4 miles on the way back.'  And then asks if I am coming to meet her...  I'm like, I just ran this race in record time (for me) am completely exhausted and just want to collapse, but 'on my way' is the message that gets sent to her...  As I am walking back to her, I start feeling pain in my calf, I strained it again, I am guessing in my foolish all out finish that was unnecessary.  

Once I meet up with her, I find out my official time was actually 1:17:26.  5k time was 38:35, so the 2nd half took 38:51.  I ran both halves of the race almost dead even.  Average 12:30 per mile.  I have no clue how on earth I managed this!!!  But I now understand my heart rate!  No wonder I couldn't get it under control!  I was pushing myself so much harder than I ever had in training!

After all of my freaking out, not only do I hit my goal, but I blow it out of the water, exceed any and all expectations of myself!

So what's next?  I want to qualify for a seeded wave!!!

And more than that, I don't want to quit.

Quit what?  Anything!  I have changed my life for the better and am loving how I feel.  Yes, I beat myself completely while running that race, but I came out the other side knowing how strong I am, and that I am a lot stronger than I think I am!

Last week I made an appointment for today to change my training schedule so I can get into shape to start my training certificate this winter.  I can and will do this and I cannot wait to start!  

Oh yeah, and remember my mom walking the course behind me?  Wonder how she did?  Last week, we previewed the course in 2:05.  Saturday, she walked it by herself, with nothing more than the race atmosphere to push her (and she was walking on the sidewalk so she had to deal with dogs, people, crowds, etc) and she still finished in 2:00.  I could not be any prouder of my mom!  She is my inspiration!  If she could do that with her feet covered in blisters to the point that she could not walk all last week, what possible excuse could I have to not succeed???
Footnote: Notice my hot pink text missing?  In homage to my mom, we are wearing purple today as it is her favorite color.

Mental Changes

My 1 year anniversary on Lose It is just around the corner.  Although I started my weight loss journey in November 2011, Lose It signifies the start of my lifestyle change.  It is amazing at what that means.

Have you seen the commercials for the new diet cure?  The one where you sprinkle stuff on your food and magically lose weight?  The one that specifically says 'Not a lifestyle change.'
I haven't been on the Lose It forum to see what is being said about this new miracle cure, but I can imagine the responses because I have read enough in the last year to know.  What happens when you stop using the miracle cure?  You haven't really learned how to control your weight at all, so the weight will all come rushing back!

But back to me, because let's face it, here in this little place of the internet, my name is on the byline, so it really is all about me!  

My lifestyle change:
 - I haven't lost as much weight as I thought I would, but have discovered that I am not going to.  From this point in my journey, it is all about burning fat and building muscle.  I am still coming to terms with the fact that I may already be at goal weight or potentially gain more weight as the muscle builds!
 - I have learned to eat smaller portions, slower, and how to add protein and healthy fats to my diet and how important these are to my diet.  (Yes, I know I am using the word diet, which I hate when used 'I am on a diet', but 'everyone eats, therefore everyone has a diet'.)
 - I am working on limiting simple carbs and eating only complex carbs, but it is not always easy.
 - I have joined a gym!  Never thought that would happen!!!  Not only that, but I am seriously considering becoming a trainer!
 - I did a 5k with my mom and have a 10k coming up in just 3 days!!!  Never thought I would see the day where I would race again!
 - I am doing weight training with a potential goal of being a power lifter...  And I love every minute of it!!!  The burn, the soreness, the progress I see being made in my body!

The title of this post is Mental Changes and none of this has really been about anything mental, so what has been the mental portion of my lifestyle change?
I grew up a wallflower.  One of those kids that tried best to find a hole in the ground and jump into.  The one that dressed to hide, not get noticed.  I learned very early on to be noticed was not a good thing and generally ended up with me in pain in one form or another.  
I continued this mentality into my adult life.  Well, my early adult life anyways.  After leaving my husband and not realizing until I left that I had been abused within the confines of my marriage, I was determined to never let myself back into that position.  I had to remake myself mentally.  Not to stand out, but to stand up.  It has not been an easy journey.  Small choices, small changes, to find a new me that I was comfortable with as well as protecting myself from more pain.
Part of this change was realizing a couple years ago that I was depending on guys to be in my life, to help me, to support me, and I wasn't sure who I was without a guy by my side.  I made a drastic decision to take a year off from guys, to find me, to learn who I was, to discover who I really was, by myself.  Not only did I take a year off, but in 34 months, I have had 6 dates.  My life no longer revolves around men.  I do know who I am and what I stand for and I am strong enough to be by myself without fear of failure.
So what does this have to do with my lifestyle change?  
While I have not lost as much weight as I would like, I have lost dress sizes and it shows!  I am getting closer and closer to a body 'most women would pay for' to borrow a quote from a friend.  I have started dressing to accentuate my body, to feel feminine, to look pretty, and I have been getting so much more attention from the male half of the species.  I have started to stand out as my body shape changes.  
And there are more mental changes going on too.  I am becoming more confident.  I like the way I look, for myself, not for a man in my life.  That is so important to me!  I don't know that I have ever felt the way I do today, about me!
As this self confidence and self awareness grows, so does the attention from men.  Which is so annoying!!!  Why couldn't they notice unattractive, unconfident me?  Why is that now that I look good, know that I do, and love who I am without them in my life, why now do I get attention???  And what is more aggravating is that most of the attention is coming from stereotypes that I would never get involved with.  
Where is the good country boy that knows how to drive a tractor and doesn't mind getting dirty?  And since I now live in the South, where are these fabled Southern Gentlemen that are supposed to be the ultimate catch?
Who knows?!?
What is important to me, what is my next step in life, is to continue this journey for me!  To continue to improve my body, my fitness, my health, for me!  To continue to grow confident in who I am as a woman!  God willing, someday the right man will come into my life.  I would be even more blessed to have God open my eyes to see who the right man is.  
Until then, I continue this physical and mental journey to find this woman that the little girl back in New York would not dream of being related to!