After going into the bathroom for the 3rd time in the last hour, I felt myself start crying, just completely overwhelmed at the monumental (pun not intended) task ahead of me.
I posted on Facebook, 'So nervous I am making myself physically sick... Why am I doing this again? ? ? ?'
Literally 3 minutes later, an angel from Texas commented 'Because you can. You got this, Jessica.'
Between this heaven-sent post and the fact that my nervous breakdown woke up my mom (Moms really are great for helping you recover from nervous breakdowns!!!), I finally got out the door and driving to the race!
Made it to my secret parking garage, although driving into the garage must have broke the invisible shield, because about 10 cars followed us in. At least we found parking easily!!!
As we are walking down the street towards the start line, my mom says 'Do you think they would care if I walk the race?'
So after another trip to the bathroom, I am standing in the corral waiting for my wave to be released. Mom snaps a picture on her phone (and starts walking on the sidewalk next to the course, unbeknownst to me). After she takes off, I realize I have been sick all morning and although I made a smoothie for breakfast, I only had 2 sips because it was making me sicker, no water, no Gatorade, nothing in my system whatsoever! God, please watch over me, cuz this is going to be a long race!!!
I take off at an easy jog, passing people around me, but not going as fast as others. Felt pretty good. Grateful that I had finally replaced the battery in my HRM so I could make sure to not have a heart attack while running.
Ran the first mile in 13:20... Like, what?!?!?! Easy jog? Phone? You did say 13:20, right? But I feel good, not tired... Umm... ok...
At this point in time, my phone must have decided to take exception to my questioning of its' tracking abilities and froze... For the rest of the race!!! So I have no split times... I am very sad about this!
Anyways, back to the race and me jogging at 13 mins!!! I am not conditioned to run 13:anything for any length of time, so I did end up walking, but every time I had to walk I kept it at a speed walk. My goal was 1:30 and even though my first mile was fabulous, I knew there was no way I could maintain that pace. I kept pushing myself, the next step, the next mile.
I was keeping a close eye on my heart. The entire time my heart was between 175 & 190. Nothing I could do would drop it!!! I just kept an eye on my physical being as a whole to make sure I wasn't doing damage and every time I hit 190 I started walking and wouldn't start jogging again until back under 180.
Starting at mile 2, I was grabbing a cup of water and then a cup of Powerade to keep myself going. Just kept pushing. Didn't care how tired I was, all that mattered was finishing the race as fast as I could!
Sometime after halfway, I checked my overall time on my HRM watch. 41 minutes and change. Figured that was on target, and I had shaved 8 minutes off of the time Mom and I completed 2 weeks ago at the Henrico 5k.
At this point in time, I am jogging / walking straight into the sun. I am exhausted. The water stops aren't doing much to keep me going, especially since I am now aspirating the Powerade as I try to finish it. The bands playing, just aren't keeping me motivated. My heart rate is too high and I can't get it down, I just keep walking, too tired to even set a goal to start jogging again. Just keep moving is my mantra.
Mile 5 - OMG! Almost done, come on, I can do this!!! What time do I have? 1:05??? And I have 1 mile to go? Holy cow! Come on, I may be tired, but my goal is in sight!!! Still exhausted, still just speed walking, not a lot of jogging at all, but as I continue and start recognizing signs of getting closer and closer to the end, I find myself at this weird speed between a walk and jog, but, hey, my body is doing it, not me, so let's go. Keep an eye on the heart and how heavy I am breathing. Slow down, speed walk again, around the last monument, and I am doing this weird faster pace again, but I know mile 6 has to be close and I want to finish strong. I know there is more distance than what I have in the tank left, but I want to jog from mile 6 to the end. I know I can do it!
Mile 6 and I start jogging, everyone around me is picking up speed. A mother off to my left is telling her daughter 'Do you see those flashing lights? That is as far as we have to go. Come on, you can do it!' Thanks to her giving me a finish line, I could do it too! I started keep pace with this man wearing a 'Run with the Big Dog' shirt and we were going, faster and faster. As we entered the finish corral, I let it all loose and I just flew past people, left and right!
As I crossed the finish line, I stopped my HRM 1:18!!! I can't believe it!!! I hit my goal and took 12 minutes off of it! So proud of myself!!!
But I am now in a crowd of finishers, trying to get out of the street and into the park to find my mom. I know where we are supposed to meet, but I can't find it. So I send her a message that says 'I don't know where I am supposed to meet you', thinking that she has been chilling for the last hour plus, so she can tell me where to find her. She responds with 'I'm not even at 4 miles on the way back.' And then asks if I am coming to meet her... I'm like, I just ran this race in record time (for me) am completely exhausted and just want to collapse, but 'on my way' is the message that gets sent to her... As I am walking back to her, I start feeling pain in my calf, I strained it again, I am guessing in my foolish all out finish that was unnecessary.
Once I meet up with her, I find out my official time was actually 1:17:26. 5k time was 38:35, so the 2nd half took 38:51. I ran both halves of the race almost dead even. Average 12:30 per mile. I have no clue how on earth I managed this!!! But I now understand my heart rate! No wonder I couldn't get it under control! I was pushing myself so much harder than I ever had in training!
After all of my freaking out, not only do I hit my goal, but I blow it out of the water, exceed any and all expectations of myself!
So what's next? I want to qualify for a seeded wave!!!
And more than that, I don't want to quit.
Quit what? Anything! I have changed my life for the better and am loving how I feel. Yes, I beat myself completely while running that race, but I came out the other side knowing how strong I am, and that I am a lot stronger than I think I am!
Last week I made an appointment for today to change my training schedule so I can get into shape to start my training certificate this winter. I can and will do this and I cannot wait to start!
Oh yeah, and remember my mom walking the course behind me? Wonder how she did? Last week, we previewed the course in 2:05. Saturday, she walked it by herself, with nothing more than the race atmosphere to push her (and she was walking on the sidewalk so she had to deal with dogs, people, crowds, etc) and she still finished in 2:00. I could not be any prouder of my mom! She is my inspiration! If she could do that with her feet covered in blisters to the point that she could not walk all last week, what possible excuse could I have to not succeed???
Footnote: Notice my hot pink text missing? In homage to my mom, we are wearing purple today as it is her favorite color.
Footnote: Notice my hot pink text missing? In homage to my mom, we are wearing purple today as it is her favorite color.
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