Last week was a tough week for me. Had some self confidence issues, some perception issues, some guy issues. Not sure that this week will be any better, but a couple of conversations with friends and a blog by my roommate from last year have the blog wheels spinning in my head.
Quick, or not so quick, recap:
November 2011 - I was facing size 20 pants and refused to make that purchase, so I bought a Wii and Wii Fit, discovered I weighed 225 lbs, my highest weight ever!!!!
April 2012 - Joined Lose It, discovered I weighed 215 lbs. Decided on a goal weight of 150 lbs
After joining Lose It, I dived head first into the forums, read everything I could. If I was going to make a concentrated effort to lose weight, then I was going to do it with all the ammunition I could find!
Fall 2012 - I hit 200 lbs and everyone kept telling me that I looked so good and I didn't need to lose anymore weight, but I was still so far from my goal! And still looked so fat! I started doing more research and got into body fat percentages. I don't know what percentage I first picked (should have been somewhere in the high 20's), but the weight that corresponded to it was 165 lbs. I felt that changing my goal was ok to keep me still looking feminine, without draining myself mentally trying to hit a number that was never going to be possible!
December 2012 - I hit my low weight of 194.9 lbs, 25 lbs lost! Amazing!!!!! I, also, bought my first pair of size 14 pants in ages!!!!
January 2013 - I joined the gym and promptly picked up 5 lbs and kept gaining weight!
February 2013 - I lost 2% body fat!
March 2013 - I lost a total of 6"!
April 2013 - I lost 1% body fat!
May 2013 - I lost 1% body fat!
June 2013 - I lost 1% body fat! I now weigh 210.3 lbs!!!
I am less than 5 lbs from when I started Lose It and with an average of 3 lbs gain a month, I will reach my start LI weight by the end of the summer and it is very likely that I will exceed my high weight by the end of the year!
I am never going to be able to hit 150, 165, or any other weight, because as I continue with my training, I am continuing to build muscle and that old adage is true: muscle really does weigh more than fat!
I am gaining inches in all the right places (arms and legs) and losing inches in all the right places (waist and hips).
After abandoning my weight goals earlier this year, I started thinking about what other goals I could come up with besides just my 18% bf goal. I decided I wanted to fit into single digit pants! My trainer said, 'You might not lose anymore weight, but we can definitely trim size!' I was excited!!!
Last week, she asked me how many sizes I had lost since joining the gym. She couldn't believe that I said none!!!! We started talking about my progress (which has been amazing!) and all of a sudden it dawned on me.... All of my power is in my legs and we keep emphasising my leg work and I have gained inches in my legs and the pants in my 'not quite yet' bag won't fit over my legs...
Guess what??? My bodybuilding efforts, my increased inches in my thighs, currently at 21", will never fit into anything smaller than a 14 - 16!!!!
So yet again, I am searching for a new goal... A new way to define my end game... Today I don't know what that will be... But remember... Just because you can't hit that number on the scale, does not mean that you are not winning this fight!!! There are lots of ways to measure success. You just need to find the one that works for you!
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